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He said he wanted something serious, and after a few intense dates, he said he wanted that with me. But after a few months, it became evident that Brad, however eager to settle down, would never be able to commit to me. Yes, Brad, pushing 40, was still hung up on a girl he’d been with in high school. Another guy I’d dated was seemingly over the girlfriend that had left him, but if ever she came up in conversation, he’d become so melancholy I’d have to leave him be for a good 15 minutes to stare longingly into space. He hadn’t seen it coming, and she’d been cruel — transforming from prom date to mean girl in an incomprehensible instant.When she ends the relationship, this rejection could hit his confidence and self-esteem hard.”That rejection can stimulate obsession, which can then turn into denial, which renders the wounded man “unable to move on.”“I have many images of men sobbing and even curling up in fetal positions in my office over a relationship loss — even after they were the one who was unable to commit earlier on,” Coleman goes on.“Men are the ones who more often bring in an email where they have taken one line and interpreted it as a reason for hope, even when it is clear there is none.”Coleman has also found that often, men are less willing or able than women to take accountability for what went wrong in the relationship.“[Men] often struggle with accepting responsibility for their part in the breakup, instead seeing her leaving as an unfair decision that they did not deserve,” says Coleman.“Men are more prone to being shocked,” says Dr.While I could relate to the pain of being dumped (and even the demobilizing depression that had followed in a couple of cases), this male behavior confused me.

uh, and the way I was raised — don’t have feelings, don’t talk about your feelings — therapy pretty much goes against that.

They all said the same thing: Dudes just don’t bounce back after they get their heart broken the way women do.

Recently I asked my fiancé (miraculously, I landed a guy who pines after me!

I was surprised to find that everyone I talked to not only concurred that men and women handle breakups differently, but that quite often (in heterosexual relationships, at least) the man has a more difficult time coping.“I have always had a theory that is related to males traditionally being the pursuers,” Toni Coleman, a psychotherapist, relationship coach and divorce mediator.

“They like the pursuit and seem to place more value (at least initially) on a woman that is beyond their reach.